Toksie Turbie — the Early Years

In Which We Learn About the Earliest Years of Toksie Turbie

Sheriff Stephanie, Farmer Frank and Mayor Mike stood over the beige sofa where Toksie Turbie lay in the beige house. They pondered and discussed what to do with the baby. They knew that someone had to take care of her. They also knew that they had no way of finding out from where she had arrived.

So, after much discussion and a loooooong consultation by telephone with Judge James, it was decided that Toksie Turbie would live with Farmer Frank. This was OK with Farmer Frank. He liked children and, well, Toksie was beige and that was his favorite color.

Having it all decided, a beige crib and other beige baby essentials were found and Toksie Turbie was properly moved into her new beige home. But, while we, the author and the readers know Toksie’s name, the inhabitants of Crudville did not.

So, it came about that the three adults needed to name the baby. Mayor Mike noticed a tag on her wrist. It only said “TOKSIE”. It was decided that that must be her name and, so, it was. The Turbie came later.

Toksie Turbie Gets the Turbie

Time progressed and Toksie grew. Much to the chagrin of Farmer Frank and the other residents of Crudville, Toksie did not remain beige. You see, for no reason that anyone could figure out, Toksie could change color at will. I mean, if she wanted pink hair, green skin, and blue teeth, she had them. She just had to think it and it was so. If she wanted pink polka-dots in her hair and orange stripes on her skin, she could arrange that, as well.

As you can imagine, this ability was not appreciated by the residents of Crudville, who preferred everything to be beige. They had, in the beginning been jealous that Toksie was beige, as they, the residents were all sorts of normal people colors.

So, Toksie was told in no uncertain terms that while white, black and other expected people colors were acceptable for her skin, no polka dots, stripes, or anything other than normal was allowed. Her hair could be blonde, brown, black or red, nothing else. And her teeth must always be white. Toksie complied. She only appeared in normal and expected colors.

The town council even tried to force Toksie to pick one appearance for herself and stick to it, but, well, that’s how the Turbie came into play. It was the first time Toksie went ballistic.

She was four. She had agreed to all their rules. She lived without polka dots and stripes and didn’t make her skin green ever. But to be told she had to pick just one hair color, one skin tone and only white teeth, well, she just had HAD it.

After the town council gave Toksie the news, well…first, her skin turned bright purple. Then her hair turned dark purple. Then her teeth turned a kind of light-purple, but not quite lavender. And, THEN things got really scary. WEIRD SHAPED PURPLE STEAM CAME OUT OF HER EARS. I mean, real steam. You never saw anything like it in your life. It was like Toksie was going to explode.

Toksie Turbie Turns Purple

Next, Toksie ran around all the town council’s desks at once 100 times and it only took ONE SECOND. After that, she jumped 100 feet in the air, right through the roof she went, and came down on the other side of the town council’s desks.

“NO, I WON’T!!!“, she shouted, “I WON’T LET YOU BE THIS MEAN TO ME.

Toksie went on to say that it was her body and if she wanted to wear it anyway she wanted no one should mess with her.

Someone shouted from the gallery, “You better give her what she wants or she’ll go turbo on us.”

A frightened town council agreed that she could do as she pleased, as long as she chose normal colors, or, of course, beige.

But the “turbo” thing stuck, and after that day she was known as “Toksie Turbie”.

No One Likes It When Toksie Turbie Turns Purple

That scary day when the town council tried to make her choose one appearance was not the last time Toksie Turbie turned purple. Nosiree, not the last.

You could do almost anything to Toksie Turbie except be unfair or mean. Or, even worse, to be unfair or mean to anyone when she was around. Bullies did not exist in Crudville when Toksie was around. She turned all kinds of shades of purple and ran around them 100 times in one second and then jumped 100 feet in the air and came down on the other side of them. Scared the living daylights out of every bully in town.

Why there was the time little Julian was being teased by his big brother, Roger. Toksie Turbie was sooooooooooo mad at Roger she turned turned shades of purple and ran around him 100 times in one second TWICE. Scared Roger so badly he was the nicest person in town for the rest of his life.

Then there was the time Sally, the teenager, made fun of the dress her classmate, Joan, was wearing. It was the proper shade of beige and all, but OMG Sally didn’t like the way the dress fit. Sally was so mean it made Joan cry and Toksie Turbie went COMPLETELY TURBO all over Sally. Sally was the kindest lady in town for the rest of her life.

Toksie Turbie is Not Happy

Toksie lived by the agreed rules. Well, sort of. In her beige room with all the beige furniture and all the beige everything, with the door closed tight, Toksie Turbie changed colors whenever she wanted. She would sleep with green hair, orange teeth and teal skin. That was every Tuesday.

On Wednesdays, Toksie Turbie would sleep with pink and blue polka dots on her teeth, grey and salmon striped hair, with yellow and green swirls for her skin. The rest of the days were according to her mood, but Tuesdays and Wednesdays were set.

Still our Toksie was very unhappy because well, someone as colorful as she just was not going to be happy in a place that only loved beige.

The Circus Comes Back to Crudville

No one in Crudville had ever heard from Mortimer Thaddeus Snodgrass III, Morty for short, since he had left Crudville with the banned circus all those decades before. Morty was grown now. He had had all kinds of magical adventures. But, he’d used his one wish from the magical wishing ring and the three from the magical wishing hat. He was an adult and so, he had a job and all that cool stuff. He was, now, the ringmaster for the circus.

And, for no reason that Morty could ever figure out, he suddenly knew he had to go back to Crudville. So, he led his circus to the town only to be told that they would have to leave the next day. No shows were allowed.

But just like Morty, all those years ago, Toksie Turbie, who was now eight-years old, took the opportunity to apply for a job. She didn’t know what she could do that was interesting. I mean, it never occurred to her that being able to change color would interest anyone because it was so disapproved of in Crudville.

Morty looked at Toksie and asked her why she wanted to leave Crudville. Toksie confessed, “I HATE BEIGE.” Morty laughed and said, “So do I.” That made Toksie laugh, too and well, she forgot herself while she was laughing and her skin turned a happy shade of yellow and her hair went blue. Her teeth stayed white, though.

When she caught herself, she apologized and promised she’d never do it again. To which Morty asked if she could do that whenever she wanted. Toksie said that she could and Morty told her she was in the circus now for sure.

So, Toksie Turbie went home to Farmer Frank, packed her all her beige bags and all her beige clothes and all her beige everything else. Then she said good bye to Farmer Frank, Sheriff Stephanie and Mayor Mike. She thanked them for taking care of her.

Then she danced off to the circus and blew that beige town for good.

Where will the circus take Toksie? We will just have to see in our next installment.

Now it is time to feed the SEO Nag Monster. It wants a link. So, I am feeding it this link to my the brand spankin’ new Toksie Turbie shop. It has Toksie Turbie gear available there.Some other things are in the CafePress marketplace. But the Nag Monster only wants one link. You are welcome to buy something. HAVE FUN!

Author: Auntie Shoe

Not much to say. Auntie Shoe is the graphics designer formerly known as AmeriYank, who has shops at print on demand sites all over the Internet.

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